Friday, February 22, 2008

Organize His Habits

So, I received the following question:

Got any tips for helping him (her husband) put things back where they're supposed to go once he's used them? Or were you blessed with a partner who is as organized as you are?

No, my lovely lady, I was absolutely not blessed with a partner who is organized or puts things back where he got them. I was blessed with someone who uses the dining table as a second closet. Which causes this reaction:

So, last night after I saw your question, I went to my partner and asked him how he started to change his clutter ways. This is basically what he said, "Tell your reader that the only way she is going to get her husband to do what she says is to nag constantly, give faces (like above provided face), and to follow him around the house picking things up behind him and making sure he knows about it. He will eventually have to decide between a life of picking up after himself or suicide. I chose picking up after myself because it came with a big ole main course of you, honey."

Again, insert the snubby nosed face.

So, seriously, this is what I am going say to those of you with a similar problem. I did nag, don't get me wrong. But I always try to add a little reason to the end of my nagging ways. The one thing men and most all people really love and get satisfation from is the idea there is place for something or everything. The problem that arises is that this "place" can be different for everyone.

This reader with the question stated she is planning on re-vamping the master bedroom. So, I am assuming that there is a problem with the hubby just putting things wherever he wants. This is probably because these spots are convenient for him and it takes little effort and thought to place these things where he is placing them. Take note of his habits. You can't change his habits but you can organize them. Answer these questions:

1. Is he throwing his clothes wherever he feels? Are they on the bed? Are they on the floor?
2. Where does he take his shoes or house shoes off? Where does he leave them regularly?
3. What does he normally do with his dirty towels and clothes when he gets in and out of the shower?
4. Where does he leave his wallet, keys, watch, or any other man accessory at the end of the day?
5. What is the first thing he does in the morning when he gets out of bed?
6. What is the last thing he does before he goes to bed?

One of the things I discovered about men (or my man) is that they need their "man cave." And they need to feel like they have their own space in a room that is really their "partner's" room. When men and women combine two spaces into one cohesive space, (let's be honest) most of the time the space becomes the woman's space, at least in the decorating sense...and in the closet sense. Normally, not all the time, women take more of the closet space.

Give him his space. Give him his spot. Take a corner of the room or closet and dedicate it to his messiness. If he is normally leaving his clothes lying around, their is a convenience behind the location. For instance, if he leaves his clothes lying on the end of the bed, place a nice looking wicker hamper (with a lid) at the foot of the bed. Or if he is leaving his clothes on the bathroom floor, place a hamper in the bathroom or hang a laundry bag on the back of the bathroom door.

If he leaves his shoes wherever is convenient...try to find a bench or stool that can be placed somewhere that is "his" place to remove and leave his shoes. He can sit comfortably and take his time removing his shoes after a long day and just leave them there. You could also hang a rack above or near it so that he can leave his scarf, jacket, hat, or anything else on the hooks.For example:


(Just to give an example. You could also do a trunk for settee/bench at the foot of the bed.)

If you have a dresser with your jewelry box and perfumes and girlie stuff on it, make a spot for his stuff too! Try to find a man box that will fit his wallet and keys or whatever he needs when he walks out the door. For example:

GARRETT VALET TRAY (from pottery barn)
Valet Tray $49.00 SPECIAL $29.00

The point is, don't tell him what to do because it's what you want and it's the way you want it done. Let him know that you want to give him a space in the bedroom and you promise you won't use it and you won't feminize (I think I just made up a word) it.

Really take a look at his habits, really consider them, and work around them...and him. If he has his own space in the room, he may make more of an effort to keep is nice.

I sure hope that was helpful! These are just methods I have used with my partner and they have worked so far. Good Luck!


C said...

Oh my goodness! You are THE BEST! LOL! What a great post and fantastic suggestions! I LOVE YOU! LOL! Seriously, I think this will work for Hubby's habit of leaving things everywhere.

Actually, he does leave his watch, keys, coins, etc on his nightstand. His shoes are always at the front entrance.

It's just his clothes that are always either on the floor next to his side of the bed, or on a chair in our bedroom...or even on my desk!!! I have a desk with a computer that we only use for doing our book keeping in the bedroom. (We've got three computers in this house)

Oh, and his office! His desk has piles of papers and files stacked up and he sometimes takes over our dining room table because he has run out of room in his office! LOL!

Thanks for the tips! I'm going to try them!

Your person sounds like a sweetheart too! You two are super cute!

Deb said...

it's either reverst psychology or getting really creative when it comes to "helping" our men. I figured out that they just don't wan to be told what to do with their stuff. :)

Three computers??!! How convenient! I'd like to have for him and one for me. I do all the bookkeeping for the both of us so it could go on mine. he clutters the puter with TONS of music! We just need his and hers laptops.

BlondeLittleShit said...

I love it! Well done! And I didn't know that those caddies were on sale!! I been wanting to get him one. Can you say Birthday Present?